| Wow, oh wow. |
[03 Jan 2006|05:36pm] |
Hannah and I had the time of our lives the past two days. We went to Tampa to visit with her cousin Laura on sunday night. There was a lot of drinking involved, staying at boy's house's until 7:30 in the morning. Making out, playing truth or dare, and no sleep at all.
Sunday night when we arrived we were all a little tired. But, being the troppers we are got up and went to a sprts bar called Peabody's where we were approached by this guy. He was absolutely hilarious. He asked if we wanted to play darts with him and his frinds and really... we didn't... but eventually we went there anyway. Why not? We'll never see them again. So, we went over there made small talk, got some free beer and headed for there house after the bar closed around three. It was my brilliant (drunk) idea to start playing "Never ever have I ever" which turned into a fucked up game of truth or dare. In the end, it was wonderful. The guys were really fun AND a couple of them were Gator fans, so we all got along well.
We went to Chilis to watch the game, and met Colleen (the girl Hannah is leaving for Spain with) and her friend Jason. When we walked up to Chilis, Hannah saw him sitting on the bench outside and she asked him if he worked at club red... and he did. Turns out he was our bar tender on New Years and Colleen's good friend. Small World. We ended up having over a hundred dollars in drinks alone during the game. At one point, some Iowa fans were trying to fight some Gators... and i'm just going to throw this out there.... we pretty much promoted it. Everytime a UF person came in Colleen and I would scream go Gaotrs or whatever and people were getting pissed. They shortly after told us to shut the hell up.
Later that night (after a few power naps and a ghetto grilled cheese) we went to Channel side. And holy shit we got lost. Laura had no idea where she was and we drove around like morons for a good 45 minutes. Poor HAnnah was getting sick at the end. We wanted to try and go into one of the bars, so we stopped to ask someone where we can park. There was a couple who said they'd pay us to give them a ride right down the street to their hotel. We were going that way so we said sure. Ends up, the Guy (who's first name is Brandon) plays for Iowa. He was so drunk and so funny.
So, we went back to Peabody's after a failed attempt and started getting hammered for the second time that day. We were appraoched by some random guy who Hannah and I couldn't stop laughing at. I don't remember what was so funny. Maybe it was because he was drunk... or maybe we were. Either way we had fun. Laura ended up going up to three different boys after her jager bomb and we ended up and their house. Playing the same games. lol. It was alright, I was just tired and not really into any of these (frat) boys we were around.
I'm going to miss Hannah.
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[15 Dec 2005|01:13am] |
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It is always the best swimmers who drown.
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| Waste of time/Advice for guys |
[22 Nov 2005|03:12pm] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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So here's the deal, guys. If you're interested in a girl be up front with her. The best advice in the world you could follow about dating is to tell the person exactly what you want. Don't waste her time. Don't say things that you don't mean. If you want to hang out with her CALL HER AND ASK HER OUT. And if she's litterally throwing herself at you, either tell her no thanks and walk away or take her home, God damn it.
So... i'm a little bitter. But I don't like to waste my time on someone who isn't really interested to begin with.
The story is... There is this guy i'm really in to... He's super sweet, funny and so much fun to talk to. Probably the most interesting guy i've met so far. But he's too much work. Too much work even just to get laid... id rather just stay at home and watch porn. And it's funny. You'd think a guy would be all over it... kind of makes you wonder what you're doing wrong, huh?
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| Must read. |
[15 Nov 2005|11:11pm] |
Something i wrote a looong time ago... please don't take any of it seriously, i wasn't sleeping well and was basically blabbing... total sarcasm and weird play with words.... enjoy.
God damn... Beck is singing "lala-lala la laBLAH BLAH BLAH!" Bullshit! Yet, his voice is so smoothing. Liek homicide with a dash of urgency. Brilliant... yes, O Beck, echo and synthesize. This is what makes you ORIGINAL. YEs. Yes, indeed.
I am not impressed with my journey so far. Only 20 (and a half) and already displeased. You might call me a chronic procrastinating overachiever. Ha- that's it! When i'm 25 and on the eight year senior program at UF that'll be my excuse. I'll have to file that for later use.
I'm waiting impatiently for a fight. A life changing, head pounding traumitizing brawl of crazy and deadly porportions. Anything just out of the norm that will make my ass twitch is fine by me. Maybe some more Catholics will die. Yes, lets hope. Take the Athiests with them. Bastards. All of them. Every last one of them!
When the Pope died I didn't cry. Am I evil because I found humor in that? And Shiavo... a vegitable for a good part of her life... am I damned because I dubbed her Florida's State vegetable? Yes, maybe. I'm an evil, heartless child. I care about very little in my life now. I made Tsunami jokes...Shiavo...Pope... and Cochran jokes alike.
Does this make me a racist? Bigot?
No. It makes me human. What makes me anything is how I react to the people and events that affect my life directly. I don't care that Johnny Cochran died. I'm sure numorous superstars all over America do, though. This being, of course, if OJ really did it.
"If the coffin don't fit, you must aquit!"
Now, to my personal affairs. I am restless at best. Lately i've been thinking I should cut back on the cold hearted cynical act. Act? What act? Say, I should have a few Oscars by now. Yes, at least. I get too personal with people. NEver tell me things about other people I know. I like to find out things for myself. That's the fucking journey! Don't steal my glory, ruin my surprise by telling me Bobby has a VD. Let my doctor inform me first. Be a good friend God damnit!
In this phase of my warped life, I feel like I am floating along with no direction. No compass, no map. None necessary, all irrelevant. Would good fun would a carefully planned and mapped life be? Not much. Sure, you'd have road bumbs. But i'd rather go at them blindly, head first, naked screaming insane nonsense about popes and dogs and the internet. Fuck maps. All will be eliminated. I am the map Nazi!
Derranged? Maybe. I grasp my opinions of people through my third eye, third ear even. A two-way threesome of senses analyzing motives and logging my expectations and theories behind my eyes, between my ears, next to a bucket of dissapointment. It's all the same to me. Love me, hate me. At some point we'll agree on something. And THAT my friend, is why you read on.
Continued at 6:24am and no sleep. Feeling awake and cold. I feel like screaming at the radio "NICE TO KNOW YOU TOO INCUBUS!" Mother of God, the irritation doesn't stop there. I should get up to change the channel, but there is always an excuse. Now, this time, it's that my walk man is closer. And there lies better music. Ah... In Flames... Nonpiont... Now, for Primus. Ha, if only I had Craig here to discuss the technicalities of these lyrics. I'm sure he'd have me up for at least twom more hours. God love him, and his girlfriend.
Though the love not be sent my way. No, too much. But I move foreward still. I've been wearing a lot of hats lately. Not sure if it's some twisted thing... make a note to look that up. Or ask a psych major.
I tend to live a danerous life. You know, driving with head phones on, rolling stops, cursing at deaf people. I also don't mean a lot of things I say.
The other day someone asked me about a girl named Jessica. an old friend of mine. My instant reaction was "Oh, I hate that dirty old bitch." Of course I didn't mean itthe way it came out... or even at all. I find people say they hate something when they are too lazy or, in my case, so confused on the issue or relationship. This girl and I had a fall out in the past. I'm sure neither of us will forget any of it, at least not the part where we cursed eachother's children and damned eachother to hell. Eh, it's been long forgotten other than that.
I wouldn't be my friend. Unless I sold good drugs. In hich case I wouldn't need friends. Except myself. Does this mean I would be annoying myself for drugs? A dealer maybe? And a buyer? All at once? Don't you see???? OVERACHIEVER!
That's correct. If that makes any sense to me later I will need to explain it in text form. Now I can't afford to pay attention to details. Spell check will take care of the bill.
Nothing is better than loud, threatening music in the wee hours of the morning. One would think birds chirping and the sun risiing would be a priceless sight. In reality, it makes me want to rip my third eye out and eat it. Swollow it whole, and let me see the inside of my stomach and the chicken I had that's half digested by now. But this means my third ear has to go, too. By now it will be suspicious of such an attack. LAter. Besides, there is good music occupying it. "Evil in a closet" In Flames. Good tunes. Yes, ear. You can stay.....for now.
It's so pretty outside it sickens me. It looks as though I should be writing lyrical warming poetry and listening to Mozart. Not Jesus Christ Pose... Damn me for being stubborn and openly defiant of nature. Just like me, though. Breaking from the crowd and changing the tides. Fuck the moon. Why should a big ball of blue cheese get all the credit?
Honestly, if it wasn't so God damn cold outside i'd go write on the grass. Alone where I can sing at the top of my lungs and not wake anyone or suffer too much embarrassment.
"I need a brain overhaul. I want someone else to do it though. Someone i've never met. I'll pay them good money too. If they're Mexica, i'll pay them cheap since the work will probably be shitty and i'll have to get it redone anyway... Racist. Well, if it's an American job i'll have to shop around and look for price quotes for three years. French? Don't trust 'em. Japenese are too expensive, but they do good work. I'm a stickler. This is my brain here, afterall. A magnificant piece of machinery. You're jealous, I know it."
Never let your racist friends read that paragraph. I don't want any part of that talk. Of course that's all it is, talk. It holds as much meaning and worth to me as this tlak about third eyes and ears
That ear must die now.....
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| . |
[13 Nov 2005|11:00pm] |
Today was a good day. Sasha, Ryan and I went to the arts fest, devil's milhopper, newman's lake... we tore gainesville apart today.... got a lot of exercise in too. We ate at fridays... went to see the bat house on campus... and mosquitos ate us for dinner. Six hours of complete randomness and boredom... but time spent well. I think I even got a tan.
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| Letting go... |
[05 Nov 2005|10:44pm] |
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Last night was super insane. Too much to drink... a few unexplained scrapes and bruises.... but all in all, a wonderful 21st birthday.
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| . |
[31 Oct 2005|01:05am] |
...so why am I still awake? It's late as hell, and I have to be up early... i'm exhausted... I don't want to be up... so, why?
Why is it whenever you're denied something, you want it? Why do most relationships end on bad terms? Why is it.... *sigh*
...everytime I try to do something for *ME* I end up hurting? It's not everyday I decide to be selfish and do for me before others... and this is a prime reason why. I end up getting fucked. And not in the way I need to be, btw.
I've been in a geat mood for weeks... why is it that my phases of good times are always ruined by HIM.
....and right before a day that's really special to me. Anyway... his birthday is on sunday...
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| Birthday rape....? |
[30 Oct 2005|11:35pm] |
So, my ex called me the other day...
To wish me an early hapy birthday... and it went something like this:
"I fucking hate you... blah blah... I can find someone better than you.... yadda yadda... i don't ever want to see you again... happy early 21st I hope you fucking get raped"
I need a body guard this friday.
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[30 Oct 2005|02:40pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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MY 21st BIRTHDAY IS THIS FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who's coming out with me?!
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| WOOHOOO! |
[23 Oct 2005|01:53pm] |
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...so we were going to see somebands play at this block party downtown, and at 2 there was really no one there. So we decided to drive around and find something to do. We were on main street and Sasha's people radar went off and she totally forced me to pull over to see what was going on. We ended up at a huuuuge book sale, where we saw Hannah. After we left there we went back downtown and nothing seemed to be going on... We drove around and I remembered hearing something on the radio about half off tatoos at Kaos. So we decided we'd just go and check it out just to waste some time. Well... I ended up getting a tatoo of my last name on my foot. And Sasha was there enjoying every minute of my pain. OH.. and pictures... lots of embarrassing pictures. It was a good day.
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[05 Sep 2005|11:26pm] |
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mood |
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discontent |
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I can't really describe what's going on with me lately. I feel really anxious, and awake... but at the same time, I feel like i'm on a psychotic high. And everything around me is in slow motion... so why is everything so chaotic?
Eternal Sunshine fucked my mind up tonight.
Can you imagine having your memories erased, sort of like erasing files from your recycle bin? I don't think i'd want to erase anything... memories to me are something no one can take away. The idea of someone having the ability to steal something so prsonal (whether you consented or not) is...
....
I don't have words. Things have been really strange for me lately... I don't really know how to handle everything. Katrina... among other personal things... have really gotten me stressed.
Maybe it sounds crazy... but maybe we're all a little crazy.
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| Gas Prices |
[01 Sep 2005|02:17pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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Stop fucking complaining. Now.
I understand that gas is way out of control, and it sucks for everyone that we have to pay so much just to commute everyday. But do you know how selfish you all sound "Oh my God! I can't believe we're paying $3 a gallon for gas!" Or, "It takes $100 to fill my my ridiculously huge SUV...woe is me."
Look at it this way. You have a home, a family, a car and a job. Most people in LA Just lost ALL of that. I'm very sure if you want to complain about gas, you could donate your car to the good people over there. They could use it to live in until they can rebuild their houses.
I remember last years huricanes. My power was out for 5 days or so. No water, nothing. It was hot, horrible. We stank, and there was nothing to do except talk and listen to the radio. It sucked, and I never want to do it again. I can't even imagine not having a roof over my head, or at least people to comfort me. Not to mention fod, water... those poor people.
And you self serving jackasses want to complain about gas?!
I don't mean to get on top of a soap box... But my God. I just don't see myself complaining about gas, of all things.
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| Losing Touch. |
[31 Aug 2005|01:00am] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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Signs... No, not like road signs. Feelings, events people who change something in your life for the better, or worse. Believe in them?
Maybe.
Today, everytime I turn on the radio I heard the same song. No, not some pop song they play on every radio station 20 times a day. In fact, theres only one station that plays it, and its rare that you hear the same song twice there unless you listen nonstop all day (which I don't have the time or patience for).
Maybe I read too much into things, or maybe I just didn't have anything better to do... but usually, when something sticks out to me it's a sign of sorts. You can say it's silly if you want. Maybe it's a combo of instinct and me just looking for things to make everything make sense.
For example, things like Nappy's burning down (one of the best places to eat, karaoke and just chill with friends... I can't wait till it opens back up) and waking up to a dead mouse on my porch (yeah, thank my cat for that one) were all sort of signs to me. Something to help me make up mind mind on something, or reevaluate situations or relationships that needed it. Or, as in the case of the mouse, well... lets just say I really shouldn't have left the house that day.
So, what about this song? What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Hmm?
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| Ouchies. |
[23 Aug 2005|11:30pm] |
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mood |
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numb |
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If not for this, i'd be a whinny little bitch. My jaw still hurt, but i'm alright. I can't wait for the stitches to fall out... This pic was take like 10 minutes after they finished. I was fucked, but I didn't feel a thing.
So... i'm stuck at home until saturday pretty much. CAll me and keep me company. :(
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[16 Aug 2005|02:48pm] |
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mood |
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cold |
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I hate crying. I hate feeling upset. Espcially in front of other people. I suppose it's a pride issue... I just don't like the feeling I get when people are trying to comfort me, almost as if I'm bringing them down, too.
I try to smile but it's way too much effort and too little reward. Too exhausting.
And I refuse to make people around me deal with a stressed out over emotional girl sexually frustrated girl... lol. That's just how much I care.
Things will get better.
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| Wow. |
[05 Jul 2005|08:26pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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I haven't done this in a while....
Um, so to update everything that is going on... Josh and I split up a while back. He'll live. I've been trying to ove on with things, getting back into school in the fall. Work is great, paid vacations and benefits. WOO. I went ot UC last thursday with Hannah, Jen and HAnnah's cousin Laura. It was wondeful. I hope that we can go again this week, and bring Sasha a long for the ride. I got to dance with a drag queen, who wasn't wearing more than a see-thru sheet. lol. It was great.
I think I like a boy. But I'm not sure yet. We'll see.
I haven't been feeling all that great lately. I think it's the new birth control (otho evera) fucking with me.
( I wanna be a rock star )
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| blah blah |
[14 May 2005|02:51pm] |
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So i know i have updated in a long time... i will do this later. I'm just not up to typing it all. :)
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[14 May 2005|02:28pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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Sooo... work has been awesome. Colleen so owes me dinner. :) She'll get $350 after my first 90 days working there. I go to my main branch on thursday. I can't wait.
Anyway, not much else going on, except i'm going to england next year. WOOOT! Just need a volunteer or two to og with me and help me take back my castle. lol, the Pomeroy Castle. Look it up, bitches.
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